Chapter Text
"Once upon a time,
There was a glowing city protected by golden gates known as “Heaven”. It was ruled by beings of pure light. Angels that worshipped good and shielded all from evil.
Lucifer was one of these angels.
He was a dreamer with fantastical ideas for all of creation, but he was seen as a troublemaker by the elders of heaven for they felt his way of thinking was dangerous to the order of their world. So he watched as the angels began to expand the universe in their ways.
From the dust of earth they created Adam and Lilith, equals as the first of mankind but despite this, Adam demanded control and Lilith refused to submit to his will; She fled the garden. Drawn in by her fierce independence, Lucifer found her, and the two rebellious dreamers fell deeply in love.
Together, they wished to share the magic of free will to humanity, offering the fruit of knowledge to Adam's new bride, Eve, who gladly accepted. But this gift came with a curse, for with this single act of disobedience, evil finally found its way into earth, with it, a new realm of darkness and sin, and the order heaven had worked to maintain was shattered.
As punishment for their reckless act, heaven casted Lucifer and his love into the dark pit he had created, never allowing him to see the good that came from humanity, only the cruel and the wicked.
Ashamed, Lucifer lost his will to dream, but Lilith thrived, empowering demonkind with her voice and her songs. And as the numbers of hell grew, so did its power.
Threatened by this, heaven made a truly heartless decision. That every year they would send down an army, an extermination, to ensure hell and its sinners could never rise against them. But Lilith’s hope remained, and her dream was passed down to their precious daughter, the princess of hell.”
Charlie closed the book she was reading titled “The Story of Hell”, holding in her hand the key to the hotel’s door.
“Don't worry, mom, I'll make you proud.”
“Charlie?”
The princess, startled by her girlfriend’s sudden appearance, jumped in her place and yelped,
“Oh, sh*t. Did you hear all that?”
“Yeah, I was right there.”
Vaggie walked over to where Charlie was sitting, smiling but feeling a bit concerned.
“Sorry, I get pretty worked up after an extermination happens. This story helps.”
“It's okay, I enjoy your theatrics. Are you okay?” She asked, sitting down beside her royal girlfriend.
“I'm fine, just thinking, y'know… Family stuff.”
“Did you hear from your mom yet?”
Charlie shook her head in negation
“Oof… How long has it been now?”
“Not that long, only… Seven… Years,” Charlie began and stood up, “Off doing something important, I'm sure. But this kingdom was something she really cared about… Something I care about..”
“Well, at least you aren't alone.”
“I just hope that what I'm trying to do here will work.”
“It will, I have faith in you.”
Vaggie then stood up, smiling and gesturing for Charlie to do the same.
“Alright, come on. Alastor says he has something to show us.”
Then she began walking away, having Charlie trailing behind her. They both got downstairs and went straight to the parlour, holding hands and sitting beside each other in the loveseat there was right in front of the old-fashioned TV.
“Well, hello there, you wayward sinner!” Alastor spoke from behind the camera, “Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do, that's why you're in hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that?”
The setting changed to the entrance of the hotel, “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel! A misguided path to redemption!”
“Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar!”
“Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you!”
“Here we offer fun things such as: Somewhat functioning staff and twenty-four-hour pest control. Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlour!”
“Enjoy riveting conversations with our singular resident!”
“Wow!”
“All of this and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts right here!”
The TV turned off and Alastor looked at Charlie and Vaggie, completely ignoring the judgy stare he was getting from Robin, who had entered the parlour in the middle of whatever that was, and the giggling of the child in his arms.
“So? What do you think?” He asked, cheerful.
“I'm sorry, what the f*ck was that?” The purple one asked, annoyed and pissed off.
“Uh… Yeah, one note, Alastor… First of all, thank you so much for making this, seriously, amazing , but, uh… Maybe the tone is a bit… Off?”
This got Alastor visibly annoyed, but he kept smiling.
“We want people to come here, this makes it look, uh…”
“Bad,” Robin stated.
“The word you're looking for is bad,” Vaggie concluded.
“Funny, I was going for hilarious! And it seems I struck just right with this little fawn right here!” Alastor commented.
“She doesn't know any English…”
“And it didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole f*cking point.”
“Vaggie is right, Alastor, the commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them!”
“Well, my dear, I haven't been active in hell for some time! And everyone knows me from my radio show, the proper medium to express oneself , but you insisted on this noisy picture box so I had a little fun with it.”
“Oh, fun? You had a little fun with it? Well this is not what we want to represent us!” Vaggie stood up on the couch, “When you showed up here a week ago you told us you were going to help run this hotel, instead you're mocking us. Nobody’s want to come to a place that a powerful overlord like you thinks is a waste of time!” And she sat back down.
Angel Dust raised his hand from one of the other couches (How long had he been there?).
“What?” Vaggie asked coldly.
“If you're filming a commercial, can I suggest you take better advantage of that talented celebrity you have right here .” Angel pointed at himself with his top two arms and the left bottom, while using the other to grab the bottle beside him.
“Angel, you're a p*rnstar ,” Vaggie reminded him.
“A famous p*rnstar!” Robin exclaimed, getting two finger guns from the spider.
“Exactly! Shortie gets it!”
“Don't call me that, though..”
“I'll have the hornie*st sinners knocking these walls down to get in!” Angel dismissed the incubus's comment.
“We're not filming a p*rn as a commercial.”
“Why not? Sex sells, don't it?”
“Angel is right. I'm used to seeing people f*cking in every corner of every advertisem*nt… Okay, not all the time, but it's a lot more often than I'd like.”
“That's because you're from the Lust ring, dumbass. I'm not surprised if everything everywhere is filled with sexual stuff.”
“Actually, not really. There's this really cool place called ‘O-” “We're getting off topic here,” Angel Dust interrupted him.
“No, no… That one's also sex related..” Robin mumbled to himself before looking up, “Wait, we had a topic to discuss?” He asked, seeming confused.
“I swear, if you film me going at it with Mr Fancy Talk Creepy Voice here-” Angel pointed at Alastor who had materialised right beside the couch- “Or the hellborn bitch-” “Hey!” “-You’d be rolling in participants trying to get into this tacky hotel.”
“Haha! Never going to happen!” Alastor replied, smiling as always but seeming very, and I mean very, disgusted by the idea of doing whatever with Angel Dust.
“Have to agree with creepy deer over here, Angel. You're nice and all, but… Just… No, thank you.”
“Hey! And what's that supposed to mean?”
“Like Vaggie said, you're a p*rnstar , not to be rude or anything but, um… like…”
“Oh, f*ck you! You literally live from sex!”
“...Touché..”
Robin was about to say something else but his phone vibrated so he, as any person would, grabbed it mid-conversation and looked at his notification.
“Ah, sh*t. Sorry, I gotta go. Kid’s caretaker wants to know how she's doing.”
“Oh! Why don't you call him here? So he can know who she's staying with!” Charlie suggested, giving those smiles only she knows how to do where no one can really say no to her.
It was just as effective as every other time as Robin groaned and nodded. He sat down in front of the loveseat Charlie and Vaggie were, on the floor because just sitting there with them would make him feel like a third wheel through and through. When he finally began a video call, they could all hear an offended huff from Alastor. Of f*cking course he would… Soon, Robin handed the phone to little Emily, who was visibly over the moon from being able to see her fathers, who weren't exactly her fathers but she'd gotten used to seeing Red and Azrael as such.
“¡Emi! ¿Cómo estás, 나의 천국? ¿Estás divirtiéndote por allá?” Red asked, his tone making it sound as if his child hadn't just spent the last day in hell and instead was simply hanging out with family in another place.
“Papá!” Emily exclaimed, holding the phone in her tiny hands as she giggled.
Again, Charlie was no less than endeared.
“I'll take that as a yes,” Azrael spoke from behind Red, smiling as he played around with a ball he found, throwing it up and down.
Little Emily stood up and began walking around with the phone, smiling as she began talking nonsense. She ended up in front of Alastor who was staring at the phone as if it was the very thing that killed his mother. Emily, unaware of Alastor’s hatred towards the phone, aimed the camera towards him, making it all get glitchy for a moment until she aimed it at Angel Dust. He'd put on his family-friendly persona, mostly to appease Red and Azrael and so they wouldn't take the kid away.
Upon seeing Angel Dust though, they both seemed to realise what kind of people their precious little fawn was hanging out with. They didn't want to be rude so they kept that to themselves. Either way, he seemed to be nice enough to not show those things to the little one.
Between them both, it seemed clear who was paying the most attention. Despite not really being interested in knowing everything about the hotel, Red pretended to be surprised with every little thing Emily showed him. Azrael… Not so much. He was still playing with his ball, even when Emily called up to him. At least she didn't seem to notice.
Charlie soon enough got a call from her father, to which Robin reacted by yelping and hiding behind Alastor, an action he got elegantly pushed away for (Elegantly for Alastor since Robin fell back).
The princess stood up and walked off to another more secluded space of the hotel, nervous as she spoke to the king.
“Question, if smiles here's so powerful, why can't he make people stay here?” Angel asked.
“True, why's that? Can't you just make them come and threaten them to not leave?” The hellborn asked, tilting his head slightly to the side. His tail seemed to reflect what he was feeling as it got shaped into something that was basically an interrogation mark. At least it looked like so.
“Oh, I can. I assure you, it wouldn’t be a problem at all to try it, but I’m afraid I’m not allowed to..” Alastor explained, well, he explained his part of the story as vaguely as he possibly could.
“And… Why’s that?” Robin asked, raising an eyebrow in clear scepticism.
“Cause we can’t force people to redeem themselves, dumbass. They have to try it themselves and see if it’s something they’re up to.” Vaggie finished explaining, obviously annoyed by what she thought was Robin’s incompetence.
“...Was the insult necessary? I have a fragile ego..” Robin mumbled, clearly a little pissed off.
“Hm, I might have to keep that in mind, my short fellow,” Alastor mocked him, patting his head after leaning down to his level.
He wiped his hand away again once he straightened back up, which made Robin annoyed but he’d keep that to himself.
“Well, I’m staying here and I think it’s all stupid,” Angel remarked, rolling his eyes while leaning back, “We’re in hell, toots. That’s kinda the end of the road, ain’t it?”
“Well, maybe it doesn’t have to be.” Vaggie sighed, putting her hands on her hips. She was getting frustrated, “Just because no one has made it out yet doesn’t mean it’s not possible.”
Angel stood up from his place on the loveseat and walked over to the purple woman, placing one of his many hands on her shoulder, “Hey, whatever means I can keep crashing here rent-free. Crack is expensive,” he said, the first part reassuringly and the second more annoyed.
Back with Charlie, she’d been talking to her father for a while now. The call was getting a little long but she sounded a bit more excited with every word spoken between each other.
“Y-Yeah, I can! Totally!” She agreed, to what? You’ll see in a minute, “Yeah! I’ll head over there right away! Okay!”
“Oh, yes..” She whispered before exclaiming in a much louder volume, “Yes!” And then laughing.
She moved over to look around at the parlour, visibly excited as she looked at her girlfriend and called her over, “Vaggie, holy sh*t!” With a wave as a gesture to get her to come closer.
“What?!” The other woman yelped as she turned around to face her.
“Come over here!” The blonde exclaimed, muffled as she was biting her bottom lip.
Vaggie sighed again and rolled her eyes, walking over to where Charlotte was with a smile. “What’s going on?” She asked her literally bouncing of joy girlfriend. Who took a deep breath before speaking,
“My dad just called, he said the leader of the angel army wants to meet, and asked if I could go instead!”
“But- But the extermination just happened… What could they want this soon? I-”
“I can do this, somehow I know it. I’ll get heaven behind my plan.”
Vaggie watched as her royal partner began walking off, to which she reacted by trying to get her before she got too crazy, “Charlie, hold on.”
It didn’t work.
“There’s just no way I could blow it, not this once-in-a-lifetime chance!”
“It’s just a meeting,” Vaggie tried reminding her to get her to calm down a little. Little success she had by the way.
“To change their minds.” Charlie then walked over to where baby Emily was, “And touch their hearts.” And poked her little chest which earned a giggle from her.
“Or- Whatever angels have..”
“This could be bad…”
“Cheer up, Vaggie!” She made her way over to her girlfriend next, grabbing her hands in hers and looking down at her, “This could be swell!”
“Something tells me that today will be a happy day in hell!”
And then she made her way out of the hotel without waiting for Vaggie to answer.
“Okay, but just- Don’t sing to them…” She murmured, not realising the taller woman had already left.
“That bitch is halfway down the street!” Angel Dust told Vaggie.
“And she-” “Oh, she’s dancin’.” And Vaggie groaned as Robin looked at them from the background, silently questioning to himself if that was normal around there.
Meanwhile, Charlie was singing her heart out as she walked down Pentagram City’s roads, jumping and greeting whoever she could catch on her way to heaven’s embassy
“There’s a warm, fuzzy feeling that walks through the air! Every street so revealing, it’s hard not to stare!”
She soon found herself in the middle of the street, “It’s a realm so appealing, it beats anywhere! If you don’t mind the smell…”
“It’s a happy day in hell!”
She looked at some guy on a bench and waved at him, “Hi, mister!” and received a “Go f*ck yourself!” In response.
“There’s an endless trash fire that’s burning my soul!” Some guy exclaimed as he opened the windows of his place, showing that there was a literal fire inside.
“Got a ton of barbed wire to shove in his hole!” A smaller guy yelled out.
“Everybody’s required, we all have our role,” The man Charlie bumped into said right after she apologised.
“I’m not doing well.” The dude who said that had a knife impaled in his eye. Obviously he wouldn’t be well.
“Another sh*tty day in hell!”
“If I can show them the dream I’ve dreamed that any soul can change!”
“Those angels’ minds are hard to change,” Vaggie warned, though there was no one to hear her.
“Then they will know everyone can be redeemed, from the evil to the strange!”
“They’re bloodthirsty and deranged!”
Charlie continued her way down the street, looking at every sinner that was there.
“I can hear all their stories, the lost and displaced, and I know that they’re more of an acquired taste..” She seemed a little uncomfortable with that one.
“But if I open the door and I give them a place at my Hazbin Hotel,”
“It’ll be a happy day in hell!”
To move faster around, she decided to hop onto a random passing truck, laughing and giggling to herself as she went from place to place, all around Pentagram City. She was having the time of her life there, clearly.
She passed in front of a large tower. Bright in colours and visibly important when it came to hell.
“From the p*rn studio, where the cinephiles go,” She exclaimed, pointing at a bunch of sinners in front of many televisions, “To watch award-winning demons’ bukkake shows!”
And after a while of rolling around the same area she ended up in a very nice city, a vintage Americana aesthetic with its people seeming to style around the 1910’s. She hopped off the truck there, looking around with a gleeful grin.
“To the cannibal town, where they don’t wear a frown cause-” And that grin disappeared once she saw cannibals being- well, cannibals, by eating other people, “Holy sh*t- Oh, my god! Why?!”
The only reason why she noticed them was because a part of the person being eaten splashed her.
“And I don’t give a crow that his brains got in my eye!” That wasn’t entirely true, she looked a little disgusted, but overall used to the experience, “Cause I know I can spare them from heaven’s genocide.”
“I can do this,” She repeated,” I just know it! I’ll get heaven behind my plans!”
She looked genuinely convinced she’d make it as she continued repeating her past words and made her way to heaven’s embassy, “There’s just no way I could blow it, not this once-in-a-lifetime chance!”
“To change their minds-” She got interrupted by a slug sinner approaching her. “And touch my parts!”
“Uh… No, thank you. I’m just gonna…fulfil my destiny!” “Your loss, bitch!”
“I can already tell!” Then she made her way up the stairs of the clock tower, jumping around happily, “Today is gonna be a f*ckin’ happy day in hell!” Not noticing behind her the bunch of sinners murdering each other for the fun of it.
So she walked in.
“Hello?” She asked upon entering, nervously making her next steps through the wide, church-looking hall, “Hello?”
She seemed to get a little more confident after a few steps, “Hello… Creepy…” She murmured, walking over to the front desk in the middle of the hall. She looked at the small bell there for a moment before lightly hitting it with a bit of a hesitant look.
As soon as the bell rang, a contract appeared, which told her to sign in, so she did, “Okay, also creepy..” And when she was done, some doors opened beside her and she walked into what seemed to be the meeting room. It seemed since it was all dark.
“Hello? Is anyone…here?” She asked once again, yelping once the lights turned on, revealing a man and a woman, both angels, one with bright yellow and white wings, and the other with black and white wings. It looked like the woman was an exorcist angel, why the man was the leader of their army.
“‘Sup,” the man greeted her, smiling as he ate some ribs.
“Oh, sh*t!” Charlie fell back from the shock before quickly composing herself and smiling back, “Hi! I’m Charlie. My dad asked me if I could meet you.”
“Yeah, I know.” The man then began eating another rib.
“Okay, well, it’s nice to meet you!” She said, awkwardly holding out her hand for a handshake.
“Totally, nice to meet you too!” The yellow angel told her, standing from his seat and leaning down for Charlie to get closer and shake his hand, to which she complied and walked over to him.
She attempted to greet him but was surprised to find out he was a hologram, at which he laughed, “Ha! I f*cking got you! Did you f*cking see that?” He asked the angel beside him, who nodded. “Good sh*t.” He finished saying.
“Uh… So- Wait, you aren’t here?” Charlie asked dumbfounded.
“Mmm, no,” The man said, “You think I’d come down there?” And then he laughed at the idea. “I mean, I love the vibe, totally. I love your tunes.”
“Pretty f*cking hardcore, don’t get me wrong. But it’s such a bummer man..” He leaned back on his chair, “Everything down there is just so..blegh, y’know?”
He nervously laughed, “Ew..”
“Right…” Charlie agreed, though she didn’t exactly mean it, “Well, I’m happy we got this opportunity to meet.”
“There’s a project that I’ve been working on that I really wanna talk to you about-” She got shushed by the man’s fake finger.
“Hey, hey, hey, slow down. We got time. How about we get to know each other a little, hm? How about some lunch?” He asked, raising an eyebrow, “You hungry? I gotchu.”
He raised the plate with the ribs and offered it to Charlie, “Here’s my personal favourite, you’ll love it.”
“Uh, thanks.” And when Charlie went ahead to grab it, it, unsurprisingly, turned out to be another hologram. Prank with the man laughed about.
“I got you again, bitch! Hahaha! f*cking hilarious! Haha!” Charlie didn’t look amused at all, though she wouldn’t say that. She needed them to like her so they’d agree to her hotel idea.
And so the “meeting” began.
Back at the hotel,
Vaggie was standing in front of everyone, pacing around as a sergeant would and explaining what was going on with her girlfriend. Telling them how she’d be dealing with something much too important and how she had an idea. It was that, while she wasn’t home, they’d film another commercial, mostly because Alastor’s wasn’t the greatest. Okay, Robin did say it was a little funny, but then said it was a waste of time, getting a pretty annoyed glare from the deer demon.
“We’ll make a new commercial, one that represents her vision and what we’re trying to obtain. So..we need a camera. Alastor?”
And with a snap of his fingers, the deer demon made a camera appear on the purple female’s hand that was extended. Though, after a couple seconds of looking at it she looked at him, annoyed.
“A video camera ,” She told him, not exactly happy about the ‘confusion’ she could bet was on purpose.
“ Hm… ” Alastor hummed, his expression turning into one of sheer annoyance, but smiling through it and snapping a different camera into existence.
Vaggie lit up quickly and raised the camera above her head before she spoke, “Alright, let’s do this!”
